2009年4月25日星期六

回忆...

最近,跟一位以前的朋友信息了...以前的我们,是无所不谈的朋友...他们也会拿很多有趣的事情出来与大家分享..会时常坐在一起有说有笑的...在大家当中...我是最小的...他们都好像大哥哥一样照顾我...我们都是华乐团的...因为要筹备比赛的关系...我们每一天都有集训八个小时...虽然很累...但大家都很开心...因为我们能够在一起...一起努力...在这个过程中充满了欢笑...泪水...互相鼓励的声音...那一年,我活得很充实,很自由,也很开心...因为认识了大家,我明白了什么是一起努力奋斗,互相扶持的朋友...

最近情绪一直很不稳定,跟我信息的朋友,大多都成了我的出气筒,我很抱歉...为了我们的友谊,我会努力让自己活得开心的...小华,对不起那晚对你的语气不太好,你生气我了对吧?...煌杰,因为你每次都气我,让我觉得心情更乱了,唯有结束了我们的对话...阿弟,跟你信息,已经没有以前的感觉了,或许是现在的我,已经不是以前的我吧?我知道你在很努力地让我开心,希望我回到以前那个无忧无虑,开朗的活宝,谢谢你...

那晚,当你说我变了时,变得不像以前那样...当我问你以前的我是怎样的时,你说以前的我是一个开朗的傻盈,就像个活宝那样...我觉得很惊讶,我自己心里明白,自己并不是个开朗的女生...可当我回想起中一的我时,的却只能用开朗来形容吧?那时的我,是一个每时每刻脸上都挂着笑容的女生,因为有你们的陪伴,虽然一个人住,但我并不觉得孤单...你们的却很照顾我...知道我一个人住,怕我闷,都会轮流来我家陪我聊天,带我出去玩...有你们的照顾,让我觉得很安全,可以一直当一个小妹妹...

慧慧,我最要好的朋友...在别人眼中,我是他们的活宝...但在我心中,你才是我真真的活宝...跟你在一起,有说不完的话题,我想 “八婆二人组” 的称号,绝对适合我们吧?每当世界哪个角落有我们两人,那儿就会有笑声,这是大家都同意的...你身体一向很衰弱,每次都对我说...晓盈啊,惨咯...我好像要死了...怎样?而我每次都会好像妈妈那样,半安慰半骂地说...死你头!!你不要整天XXXXXXX什么什么的...因为我一向都是比较主动交朋友,在华乐也是,每次你有什么困难,我都会帮组你...有时你又会对我说...我很像大姐,每次有什么东西我都会帮你出头,照顾你...我们之间,没有任何妒嫉,没有任何的陷阱,没有任何的出卖,也没有任何的自私...每次有什么东西,都会把最好的留给对方....我就是喜欢交像你那样没有心计的朋友,有好的就一起分享,有不好的就一起解决...

想着想着,我不禁哭了...我在想,为什么我会变成像现在这样...以前的我,是一个多么天真没烦恼的女生...活得多么的轻松...为什么现在会变成这样??你告诉我说我一定能回到好像以前那样的...我想了想,只回了你说,不可能的...现在的我已经办不到了...在这里是不可能有天真开朗的人的...

回想起这些...我想,也只能用-人生-两个字来形容这一切吧?

2009年4月18日星期六

such a no mood day...

today is really bad luck, i hate tat. At the morning, i noe tat he not going to skol,i quite sad when i noe tat. tat mean i can't c him today ady... i miss him... would him do the same thing?? i dun think so n not dare to think too

when me n zk reach skol... i saw all ppl r busying their job... except for me... i feel tat my life is very meaningless... i regret tat i din join the BSMM kawat... tis is my last year in tis skol... n aso my secondary life... i should make my life be more meaningful... but i din do it... i hate myself... i hate myself always do something tat will make myself be regret... include wat i did on him... but wat can i do now??

when i saw the kawat of all the badan beruniform... i hope i'm the one inside of them... practice wif them together... having the enjoy time together... n having the result together wif them... when i saw got ppl faint... i think if tat ppl is me... wat ur response? will u care of me?? or juz like ntg happen??

during the event... when kah heng - my fren n aso ketua rumah hijau fall down... i got the feel tat i want to cry... i aso dun noe y i got tat feel... maybe is bcause tis is my last year in tis skol... i hope my house dun be the last... i very regret tat i din take part in any event... when i saw all of them do their best to win n earn marks for their own house... i hope i can one of them aso... y i become such a meaningless, useless person?? i really found tat i'm the most useless person in the world...if tis year got any kawat competition... i hope i can join it... but how was my studies?? i scare i cannot handle all the activities... i scare i will sick... it's very suffer...

when our gang stand under the kem... got a malay guy touch me!! such a fucker hand!! at first... he touch my pipi... when i turn my head... i din c anything... so i think tat maybe is ppl past by bu xiao xin touch dao... so i din bother... after tat... tat guy touch my leg again... when i turn my head i din saw anything... then i juz continuous to talk... the 3rd time... tat guy touch my shoulder again!! when i turn... i saw him sit down!! tat time i really very angry!! juz straightly scold him ma chao hai... i long time din talk bad word ady... when i very stress n want to say all those words... i still control myself dun say it out... cause i scare i will change to another person... i scare i back to my form 1 style again... tat bu liang shao nv...

after tat... when want gather at the field... i found tat my bag lost!! all my mood gone... i no mood to laugh at all... n no mood to talk wif any ppl... i scare i can't control myself n say something tat very bad to my frens... my 1st novel is in the bag... tat is my 1st novel!!! if i'm a guy... i think i will let the person who steal my bag become cacat...luckily i'm not a guy...

when i come back... i hope tat someone can comfort me... but i noe it won't be the true... someone ady din care of me anymore... i hope it juz zhan shi xin...